Happy Gorrila « Result #1 on Mar 13, 2009, 8:50pm »
It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt.
The zoo is not very busy this morning.As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the woman, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
"Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doing flips.
Then the husband nabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her into the cage with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut. "Now, tell HIM you have a headache . . . "
A Man Who Said No « Result #2 on Mar 13, 2009, 8:50pm »
A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A well-dressed Wall Street type, his coat was unbuttoned, a briefcase dangled from his hand and he'd obviously had one too many.
ĦĦĦĦAsked if he was all right, the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However, my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap, and again asked, "Are you sure you're all right? What subway are you looking for? Do you need help getting home?"
ĦĦĦĦAt last, the object of his attentions snarled, in a low voice, "Leave me alone! I'm an undercover cop!"
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Re: Ice Cream! [Jasper and Sera] « Result #4 on Jul 30, 2007, 11:18pm »
Sera Aetherius
Normally, Sera is never in a hurry to get out of work; she loves her job, all the people she works with and all of the children. Even the one older nurse that everyone else hates, Sera likes. That's just how she is, and she rarely has a problem with anyone at work.
Today, though, she's out of there the moment the clock reaches the assigned hour, into the locker room, where she grabs her things and then proceeds to dash out of the hospital with only a few hurried goodbyes.
She continues her dashing the entire way home, which is thankfully very close to the hospital. Once there, she has to decide on what to wear, and quickly, because she hadn't been planning on this before she left today, so she has no idea...
But she's been thinking about it all day, so it only takes a few minutes to change and make herself look presentable. She's wearing a skirt, but it's warm out, and her shoes are comfortable enough to walk in. Plus, she has a jacket. She's okay if her legs freeze later. She's usually pretty warm, anyway.
Hurriedly feeding Euclid, she grabs her purse and is out the door in a flash. Now to walk to Jasper's. Or jog, and then act like she'd walked. Same difference.
'Cause I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been.
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 79 Location: State College Karma: 30
Re: Ice Cream! [Jasper and Sera] « Result #5 on Jul 22, 2007, 10:15pm »
Jasper Payne
Dumbfounded, Jasper presses a finger to his lips for a second, gaping after her. And then he fights the sudden urge to run around and shake random people yelling SHE KISSED ME!
Somehow he doesn't think that will go over well. And then a sudden realization comes over him. She's coming over for dinner. Sera is coming over. And his apartment is a mess.
I know this is crazy but Nightshade and I started another RPG site, and I was hoping we could affiliate because Dark Times is awesome, as you well know.
Anyway, yes it's a HP site but I love HP so get over it, and join please Because I love you guys.
Anywho, here's the code:
Code:
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Temperance Demon Admin Leader of Dark Side With a Temper... member is offline
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 58 Location: Finland Karma: 666
Re: Discoveries. [Every member must join!-outsider « Result #9 on Jul 6, 2007, 10:03am »
Kate Farrar
Kate's eyes flashed with golden yellow as she directed her look to the asian man. He was acting all brave. He didn't know who he was talking to. She stared at him pondering wether he was worthy of destroying.
Kate glanced at Adam. "Your friend is acting very foolish right now Adam. Would you like me to send him on a little trip?" A vicious smile rose to her lips as she purred out the words like a cat. "Or will you save him from his own foolishness?"
Kubisu Cyborg Moderator Back from Muselessness! member is offline
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 104 Location: Australia Karma: 12
Re: Discoveries. [Every member must join!-outsider « Result #10 on Jul 6, 2007, 9:06am »
Kubisu
If there was one thing Kubisu disliked, it was being alone at night; but his solitude was for a purpose tonight. He also didn't intend to be alone for very long, anyway. He didn't particularly care who he found, as long as he found someone soon. Then again, perhaps moving at very high speeds was one of the reasons his internal sensors weren't finding any "demons". The overactive cyborg was zooming from rooftop to rooftop in what he considered "true superhero fashion". Tonight his usual patrol duty was more like a Search & Destroy mission; to him, at least. Kubisu was a thrill-seeker, that was for sure, and what bigger thrill could there be than fighting big and powerful demons?
He hadn't yet found any of those said demons that he wanted to challenge to a little friendly match (to the death), and as he'd already surmised to himself it could possibly be due to the fact he was travelling too fast. His sensors worked well at high speeds when he was looking at and closing in on a target, but leaping over their heads and passing them by made it difficult to get a lock. It was for this reason that the cyborg halted himself on a rooftop; and a fancy rooftop it was. The top of what Kubisu's constantly-updated GPS was telling him was a Slave House was about as extravagent as the rest of the mansion. His sleek, dark hair blowing in the cold night air, Kubisu felt like striking a dramatic pose; of course, his reluctance to accept the seriousness of almost any situation was something he considered extremely charming about himself, simply because he didn't very much like it when things - or people - got serious.
His thoughts were rather rudely interrupted by a rather startling alarm going off in his head. The warning listed two extremely powerful entities as well as a third in the area, with an additional note that at least one of these entities was exerting power on another. Turning his attention in the direction his sensors told him to look, Kubisu's eyes zoomed in to show him Adam Criswell - his current employer - lying on the ground with a new pair of wings protruding from his back, and standing over him was a woman. Nearby lay an Angel, whom Kubisu assumed was unconscious from the way he was splayed out on the ground. Before he could even make an assessment of Adam's current state of health, the man began to move and managed to stand.
" God help us all kate. What are you doing? "
"God won't help you now darling, brother. I listen. I talk. And I offer a passage. Among other things. The voices are a funny thing."
He didn't understand it at all, and so immediately wrote the woman off as a nutter - despite her being labelled as extremely dangerous by his various sensors. He did, however, understand that Adam could be in grave danger at this moment and his aid might be required. So he would offer it. Launching himself from the roof, directly to the ground, Kubisu caught himself in a handstand which immediately flipped over to land him on his feet.
"If you're talkin' to voices, I could immediately list a few numbers for you to call and get some free psychiatric help." The cyborg offered to the woman with a sarcastic tone and a cheeky smile. A hand rose to brush away some sleek tresses invading his line of sight, then casually dropped to his hip. The Asian man looked rather out of place here, but considering there were two men with wings nearby, at least he wasn't the weirdest person about.
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